Gullibility

Can anyone recommend any books on Gullibility? I am intrigued by this characteristic lately. What makes certain people gullible, while others are almost preternaturally suspicious? Why do some people believe anything they are told - from small little pranks to gigantic lies - while other people search for verification? I think that would be an interesting read.

The Insider

Just the other night, we watched The Insider, the story of Jeffrey Wigand, a former tobacco scientists turned whistleblower. I had seen it years before and it always stuck with me. Since my recent viewing, I have been reading background information on Dr. Wigand and what he endured to share his testimony in court depositions and on 60 Minutes. The movie itself was based on the Vanity Fair article, "The Man Who Knew Too Much."

I lost my grandfather to lung cancer in 1996, so smoking has always been a sore spot with me. According to the American Lung Association, over 392,000 Americans die from tobacco-caused diseases every year. Another 50,000 die from exposure to secondhand smoke. Due to the carcinogenic properties of secondhand smoke, I support smoking bans in public places. Of course, adults are free to inhale toxic chemicals if they so choose, but as a matter of public health they should not be able to exhale them wherever they choose. Again, according to the ALA's data, there are over 600 ingredients in a cigarette. When burned, that cigarette emits 4,000 chemicals.

It's certainly not news that tobacco companies routinely target their products at kids. And why wouldn't they! If they're losing around a quarter of a million customers every year because, you know, their products have been KILLING THEM OFF, they better do some recruiting. After all, tobacco company executives have families to feed, mansions to maintain, and politicians to pay. Corporate influence over our political system disgusts me more than just about anything, but I don't feel like getting into that today. Instead, I just want to read the dictionary.

I looked up the definition of "Terrorism" on Dictionary.com. Here's what it says:

1. The use of violence and threats to intimidate and coerce, esp. for political purposes.
2. The systematic use of violence and intimidation to achieve some goal.
3. The unlawful use or threat of violence esp. against the state or the public as a politically motivated means of attack or coercion.
4. Violent and intimidating gang activity.
5. A terroristic method of governing or of resisting a government.

We are all free to draw our own conclusions about who fits that description, but I'm just going to say that I don't think it applies solely to radical Islamic fundamentalists.

Long story short, you should totally check out The Insider if you've never seen it before. I think it is a tense, well-paced, and compelling story.

Soul On Fire

A tidbit of one of my favorite Danzig/Janzig songs. We'll be playing again on December 3rd at the Berkeley in Raleigh! Be there!

More Lips Of Faith!

For all you Kriek lovers (and, boy, am I one!):

Lips of Faith
Transatlantique Kriek

Seriously delicious.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey reader!
Hope all is well wherever you are. Been busy here in Rock & Roll Martian land. Knitting up a storm (pics coming soon) and hiding from work-related and extra curricular-related stresses. We shall be taking it easy this Thanksgiving; I see a feast for two, a movie marathon, and NO TRAVELING in our near future. Any movie recommendations to go along with the obligatory viewing of Planes, Trains & Automobiles?

Behold!
A Del Griffith Tattoo!

They're Coming

I am VERY fired up about Distracted Driving this week. In fact, I stared a Facebook group called "If You Can Read This, You Aren't Texting," AND I am going to get bumper stickers printed with the same message.

I will give these bumper stickers away FOR FREE to anyone who wants one. This is important! We need to change attitudes about cell phone use in cars. Each of us has a part to play!

IT CAN WAIT

U.S. Secretary of Transportation (and my personal hero) Ray LaHood was on Talk of the Nation yesterday urging people to put their goddamn phones away while they are driving. In his words:

Last year 5,500 people were killed as a result of distracted driving and half a million were injured. A lot of lives and a lot of injuries can be saved if people take personal responsibility... and put their cell phone or Blackberry in the glove compartment.

Honestly friends, this is a topic about which I cannot soapbox enough. IT CAN WAIT. No text message is worth someone's life. Put your phone OUT OF REACH when you are driving. Driving is an inherently dangerous activity, and fiddling with gadgets only decreases your reaction time and increases (exponentially) your chances of getting seriously injured or injuring someone else.

To the caller yesterday who seemed to think that people who are "feeding French fries to their kid in the back seat" are more dangerous than people on cell phones, all I ask is this: How many times do we see people feeding French fries to their kids while driving? Probably almost never. How many times do you see someone either talking or texting on a cell phone while driving? LITERALLY EVERY DAY.

We need to break bad habits and put our phones away. We need to speak up when we're in a car and the driver is texting/talking. Take responsibility for yourself and help instill good habits in your friends/loved ones. Do not talk to them when they are "driving and bored." Would you get in a car with a drunk? HELL NO. Studies have shown that texting/talking while driving impairs you MORE than being drunk! It is NOT OK!

Yes, I am preachy but this is important. I love my friends and want them to be alive. BE SAFE and encourage others to do likewise.

Fun with Subtitles

When I'm ellipticizing at the gym (and watching Ellen), I often catch some hilariously botched closed captioning. A recent favorite was "Mary-Kate and Arby Olson," but that can't hold a candle to yesterday's jaw-droppingness.

Ellen usually has horrible musical guests and yesterday was no exception: a Justin-Beiber-in-training singing about happiness, finding the good in life, and following your dreams to the end of the... wait for it... RAPE BOW.

Meet me at the end of the Rape Bow. Honestly.

Putting the "X" Back in Xmas

Guess who has really kick-ass seats to see "A John Waters Christmas?" Damn right! ME! In their infinite wisdom, the Carolina Theatre sent me a postcard announcing the show with a password for the ticket pre-sale. Vee and I will be just a few rows away from the stage for his sure-to-be-tasteless, sure-to-be-amazing one-man show.

In preparation for the event, I will be rewatching some of my favorite John Waters movies and reading his recent memoir Role Models. I just picked it up from the library yesterday! He has such a lovely and familiar writing style. I want to give him a big hug on behalf of weirdos everywhere! See you in December, John!!

The Hunger Games

Based on the recommendation from my favorite Nine-Toed Woman, I read Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games trilogy.


You haven't read it? WHAT? Stop reading this ridiculous blog and get on it! I bought the first book as a birthday gift for a friend on the condition that I got to read it when she was done. She did me one better and promptly bought the other two books and loaned them all to me. Now, I have passed along the first book to my (super-rad) boyfriend and then to a co-worker, who burned through it over the weekend and is clamoring for Book #2 (Vee, get readin'!).

While the trilogy is technically Young Adult fiction, the story is about as far removed from a passing-notes-in-the-hall teen soap as you can get. Without giving too much away, the trilogy is a literal and figurative metaphor for war and the effects of war on people. It challenges your perceptions of right vs. wrong, justifiable vs. unjustifiable action, and perception vs. truth. Collins' writing is superbly balanced between light and dark, hope and despair. It's truly a compelling story and TRUST ME - you won't regret reading it.

Thanks for the tip, Alysha!!

My Next Endeavor

Last weekend, a musician friend of mine told me about RTOOT. Little does RTOOT know, it has a date with destiny in the form of ME.

RTOOT stands for the "Really Terrible Orchestra Of the Triangle." Let's say, hypothetically, that once upon a time you totally kicked ass at the French Horn. You played for years and loved it but certainly never harbored any illusions of a symphonic career (and needless to say never harbored any illusions that the French Horn was cool). You didn't think about the French Horn for years because you were busy playing in rock bands... until the day you saw a dented-up POS horn on Craigslist for $50. You bought it, and you know what? You could still play a scale. Then you put it BACK in the attic for a few more years until you heard about RTOOT.

Seriously, RTOOT, buckle up. I am going to rock your terrible world!!

Autumn Updates

Well... that whole Twins-dominating-the-playoffs thing didn't really turn out the way I hoped. Seriously, fuck the Yankees. At least they didn't make it to the World Series. Go Rangers, I guess?

The fall has been rolling right along. Been busy knitting (but haven't taken any pictures... d'oh!), crafting (i.e. Janzig stage props), music-ing, and Girls Rock-ing. Admittedly, I'm a bit over-scheduled but most everything I'm working on is super-fun.

I just spent an incredible weekend helping to facilitate the Women's Rock Retreat at the Celebrity Inn Bed & Breakfast in Siler City, NC. Along with a few other GRNC cohorts, we formed bands with 8 ladies who had virtually no musical experience. Over the course of the weekend, each band wrote two (TWO!) songs and performed at The Cave. I can't tell you how inspiring it was (is) to see women work together, have fun, and rock out!! Lucky lady that I am, my band wrote a spooky Halloween song which we dedicated to Vincent Price. A-MAZING.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

It is my tremendous pleasure to congratulate

YOUR 2010 A.L. CENTRAL CHAMPION
MINNESOTA TWINS!!!!!!!!

Don't stop now, guys! HOME FIELD! HOME FIELD!!!

Who Loves the Number 8?

ME.

Not only was that Gary Gaetti's number, but that is also the number of games the Twins are currently ahead in the AL Central. ChiSox? More like ChokeSox, amiright??!


Just one game separates the 87-58 Twins from the 88-57 Rays & Yankees (bleccch) for the best record in all of Major League Baseball. I would *really* love to have home field advantage through the playoffs. Just sayin'.

XOXOXOX

With each passing day, JANZIG becomes more and more prepared to rock your evil world. We solidified our set list last night and it will rip your face off! Hope to see your lovely devilocks this Halloween!

More to Smile About

9) The "Freddie For A Day" benefit is coming up, with several local friends/musicians all taking a stab at various Queen songs. Yours truly will be doing "Killer Queen," which is a bit of beast. I spent some good time with it over the weekend and feel much more confident. Freddie rocks and their songs rock! Can't wait to see the costumes and mustaches. Guaranteed to blow your mind!

10) The Twins are 5 - count 'em, 5! - games ahead in the AL Central!! Keep on truckin', boys!!

11) Janzig practiced yesterday, yet again confirming it's just about the most funnest band in history. Top contenders for our Misfits covers are Attitude, Some Kinda Love, Hybrid Moments and Bullet. BULLET! Psyched about that!!

12) OMG - I got the shooting star on Katamari "Make a Star 10!" A STUNNING FEAT!!!!

More Happiness

6) My dear friend Matt has come to visit! I haven't seen ol' "Marmot" in about 2 years. Seeing friends makes me happy! We've been having a great time. In fact...

7) We went to see "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" and it was really great! Both of us were prepared to hate everything about it as it hits us directly in the Nerd muscle (comic books, video games, AND music). Thanks to Edgar Wright's capable hands, though, we had nothing to fear. Definitely recommend! Fun movies make me happy, especially when you are pleasantly surprised by them.

8) We're getting together with other friend(s) tonight and making pizza. Making pizza = happy. It's all preparation for the day we finally open Pizza Terrace, our much-dreamed-about pizza place. Pizza Terrace will have only pizza-related songs on the juke. Accepting recommendations! Never fear, Abber, "Pizza Rocket" is *definitely* going to be on there.

#5

The Twins have a 3 game lead in the AL Central. THAT MAKES ME HAPPY!

Good Things

Even though the blog is the place for venting, thinking too much about those subjects really drags me down. This week, I'm going to try to talk only about positive news and things that make me happy.

1) I have a jade plant in my office and it is growing like crazy. I look at it every day when I get to work. My jade plant totally makes me happy.

2) I love earning trophies on PS3 games. We have over 80% of the trophies for Katamari Forever. Vee and I almost always play that game together and it has given us many moments of shared amusement and a sense of accomplishment. That makes me happy.

3) The flowers in my garden make me happy. We did a lot of work to the backyard last weekend and it looks so nice.

4) I'm reading Love in the Time of Cholera, which is really beautiful. Reading makes me happy.

More to come!

Where the Hell Am I Supposed to Shop??

Because I'm crazy like that, I try not to put money in the hands of corporations whose owners fund right-wing causes. I don't work out at Curves, I don't succumb to the allure of waffle fries at Chick-Fil-A, and I don't get pizza from Dominos. But that's mostly because their pizza absolutely sucks ass.

In the interest of full-disclosure I must point out that while I don't shop at Wal-Mart, but I DO have a Sam's Club membership, which a friend (who is also a member) memorably equated to "buying from the Hitler-Chinese." So, already my whole philosophy is doomed. The impetus for this post, however, comes from the recent discovery that Target funded an right-wing, anti-gay Minnesota politician to the tune of $150,000.

TARGET. A company from my home state. A company that bought the naming rights to the stadium of my favorite sports team. A company that at least markets itself a being hip and diverse. I never felt bad about giving my money to Target, even though they are a big-box store. Now what? Does it even matter? Are all my dollars ultimately doomed? Where else do I spend my money?

Harris Teeter: Local NC supermarket chain. The president of Harris Teeter, Fred Morganthall II, donated to the campaign of Richard Burr, one of the most right-wing Senators in the nation (and friend of the blog! see below...). He has also contributed money to Republican members of the state legislature as well as the "Food Marketing Institute" PAC (which, admittedly, on its face at least appears to be bi-partisan).

Whole Foods: CEO John Mackey is an anti-union, anti-health care reform Libertarian. The health care plan at Whole Foods has extremely high deductibles and does not cover any form of medication or treatment for mental illness. In a New York Times op-ed, Mackey defended his position on health care reform by stating that, at least in his view of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence, an "intrinsic right to health care, food or shelter has never existed in America."

Any Time I Buy Gasoline Ever, No Matter Where: 'nuff said.

Even if the company doesn't support right-wing causes, I can't help but feel like a jerk whenever I buy clothing or shoes. All those items are made overseas probably by a person who makes a LOT less money than they should. And, precisely for that reason, only on the rarest occasions do I buy any clothes or shoes. Any tips on where to find good 'merican made stuff?

WAIT - Some good news!!
Total Wine & More: Founder David Trone gave money to the campaigns of Paul Wellstone and Max Cleland. A toast to Total Wine! You can continue to count on my patronage! [Vee, I know you are breathing a giant sigh of relief right now. :) ]

Dead Heat

The Twins are White Sox are tied for the lead in the AL Central going into tonight's match-up at Comerica. A 3-game stand in the Windy City and then back to the Cities next week for another 3-game series. Let's go Twinkies!!

If Hindsight is 20/20...

...what is Foresight? Over and over and over and OVER again I am perplexed by the extreme short-sightedness of our citizenry - and our "leaders." In order to gain some short-term popularity or cause a stir or further one's own opinion (facts are irrelevant, or course), there seems to be no limit to what people will do. Who cares about anybody else? I DO WHAT I WANT! We are a fucking nation of Eric Cartmans. Prove me wrong - I IMPLORE YOU.

What an absolute breath of fresh air to hear Ted Koppel on Talk of the Nation yesterday. In January, he spoke eloquently about the need to help Haiti in the aftermath of their devastating earthquake. This time, he spoke about our war "efforts," or, more precisely, our lack thereof: how the burden of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is not shared by all Americans, and that the average American (read: non-military) has not sacrificed anything during the last 9 years of war.

Seemingly common-sense legislative checks and balances such as, I don't know, (a) actually making a Declaration of War like we SHOULD do when we invade a country; (b) raising taxes to fund war efforts; (c) creating a sense of shared sacrifice [rationing, the draft] so that all of the citizenry shoulder the burden in some way - all these ideas are absolute political suicide. If our fucking politicians do not have the wherewithal to engage their constituents in something as serious as WAR, then THEY SHOULD NOT WAGE WAR. As Ted said,

We haven't sacrificed. I haven't sacrificed any blood. I haven't sacrificed any treasure. My taxes are the same now as they were before the war began. My taxes have not increased. None of us is paying more in taxes today for a specific war tax than we were paying before. And when he says we are sacrificing blood, that's precisely my point -we aren't. The young men and women who are over there are, and by extension their families are. The rest of us are sacrificing nothing.

It is an awful lot of easier to borrow the money from the Chinese and defer the payment than it is, you know, I mean, imagine here we are coming into the political season again. We have elections coming up. How many congressmen out there do you think are going to come out and say, yeah, I was listening to Ted on NPR the other day. I think he has a terrific idea. I'm going to propose raising taxes so that we can underwrite the cost of these wars.

Almost by definition, that man or woman would be elected out of office. It is politically so unpopular to suggest any additional taxes. But that is a state of mind. And that's really, Tony, what I'm arguing right now, that the American state of mind these days is so self-indulgent, is so self-oriented, is so concerned about doing, you know, I'm all right, Jack, as the British used to say. Everything is okay with me. I'm not going to worry about what's happening to those kids over there. I'm not going to worry about where the money is coming from. Maybe my grandkids will pay for it. You know, where will I be by then?

I mean, think of a single sacrifice that we, as citizens, who do not have children or relatives in Iraq and Afghanistan, what sacrifice are we making? My argument is: none. And it has to be something.

Putting aside the argument of whether the draft is right or wrong, at least it spreads out the burden of fighting our wars. And when "normal" people are called to serve their country, it might make us think twice about putting their lives in jeopardy, hence the massive protests during Vietnam. The motivations for waging war need to be scrutinized to the utmost degree, by our politicians and by the public. Lots of luck with that pipe dream. We're all too goddamn busy watching Jersey Shore to give a fuck about anything real.

T-Minus 4 Days!!

Need I say more??

We Hate To Pay Them, But...

Taxes matter. I blathered about this a few weeks ago, but Paul Krugman summed it up quite nicely in yesterday's NYT:

The antigovernment campaign has always been phrased in terms of opposition to waste and fraud — to checks sent to welfare queens driving Cadillacs, to vast armies of bureaucrats uselessly pushing paper around. But those were myths, of course; there was never remotely as much waste and fraud as the right claimed. And now that the campaign has reached fruition, we’re seeing what was actually in the firing line: services that everyone except the very rich need, services that government must provide or nobody will, like lighted streets, drivable roads and decent schooling for the public as a whole.

I need to post that FDR statement again. Poverty is real and it is serious. What kind of a nation are we if we can't help those in need? What kind of a nation are we if we turn a blind eye to human suffering - within our OWN borders, let alone the world? I absolutely cannot understand that.

Don't Ask? Do Tell!

An open letter to Senator Richard Burr (R-NC)

Dear Senator Burr,
Thank you for your response to my letter regarding the repeal of the discriminatory Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. Your letter, dated June 23, 2010, came almost one month after my initial contact with you - May 24, 2010. I would like to point out that your colleague, Senator Kay Hagan (D-NC), responded to me on May 24, 2010 - the very same day I contacted her. The promptness with which you respond to constituents is not the only difference between you and Sen. Hagan I would like to discuss in today's letter.

In her letter, Sen. Hagan discussed the Military Readiness Enhancement Act which will repeal DADT. The Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff have both testified before the Senate Armed Services Committee that they are in favor of overturning DADT. According to her letter to me, Sen. Hagan supports the repeal of DADT "as soon as possible. North Carolina is the most military friendly state in the nation, and I believe that anyone willing and able to serve should be able to do so openly."

You, on the other hand, stated in your letter:
"I strongly oppose and condemn unjust discrimination and would not support a policy that encouraged harassment against any American. At the same time, our country is currently at war, and any changes to our military personnel policies must be carefully reviewed to ensure they do not jeopardize the security and safety of our men and women in uniform, including the gays and lesbians who are currently serving our country bravely. For this reason, I do not support a change in policy at this time."

In light of your reply, I have the following questions: How would the repeal of DADT "jeopardize the security and safety of our men and women in uniform," both straight and gay? How do you reconcile your strong opposition to unjust discrimination with your unwillingness to repeal an unjustly discriminatory policy? How do you simultaneously condemn a policy and vote to uphold it? If both the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs both support the repeal of DADT and you oppose it, what do you know that they don't? Apparently I'm missing a nuance of your argument and would appreciate if you could elaborate upon it.

I sincerely hope you will reconsider your stance on the repeal of DADT.
Regards,
Mara

What I've Learned From Daytime TV

Up until a few weeks ago, my only access to "current" TV was what I could get via PlayOn (i.e. The Colbert Report) and other computer-via-PS3 means. Then I joined a gym. Now, Monday through Thursday, I get a 45 minute dose of afternoon network TV's finest. Fortunately (I think), my gym time corresponds with Ellen's time slot. Some observations:

1) Ellen often rocks the shirt & tie combo, sometimes with the addition of a vest. A VEST! I'm talking both the suit-type vest and the sweater vest. Who else can do that and still look that good? I'm definitely down with sweater vests as a general rule, but don't often see someone rocking the vest-vest all that successfully. Obviously she's not wearing some acetate-backed monstrosity from JC Penney's (like some people in some middle school photos I could mention). Anyway, thanks Ellen for letting me comment on VESTS, of all things.

2) People in her audience LOVE to shriek. The fucking LOVE it! That's all they do!

3) She always has terrible musical guests on the show (American Idol cast-offs and the like). As far as "bands" go, she seems to favor groups with a hipstery lead singer who holds the mic with both hands and sings with his eyes closed.

Every. Fucking. Day.

4) Daytime TV commercials are as silly as they ever were. I'm looking at you, John Orcutt, bankruptcy attorney! You website is BILLSBILLS.com!! I'd love to shake your hand if it weren't so full of other people's money!

A Math Problem

[Don't be scared, Vee!]

Q: When is it mathematically possible to say: 77 > 98?

A: When you're talking about the temperature. Specifically the temperature difference between northern Minnesota and central North Carolina. Can't wait to be home next week!

On a Lighter Note

I hope this is true!

"Why The Next Big Pop-Culture Wave After Cupcakes Might Be Libraries"

I'm all in favor of a pop-culture wave that centers around reading instead of frosting. And I say that as a lover of frosting. However, if I could only choose one, well... for chrissakes obviously it would be READING. Jesus!!

I'm No Economist, But...

I'm more than a little bit fed up with people clamoring for tax cuts while so many of our important, tax-funded programs are having trouble keeping their doors open. Who wants to pay taxes? Probably no one. Who benefits from taxes? EVERYONE.

Taxes pay for public schools.
Taxes pay for roads.
Taxes pay for public libraries.
Taxes pay for law enforcement.
Taxes pay for firefighters.
Taxes pay for city water & sewer systems.
Taxes pay for parks.
Taxes pay for garbage collection.
Taxes pay for Veterans benefits.
Taxes pay for city transit systems.
Taxes pay for the postal service.

And ON AND ON. Taxes pay for all these services, AND THE PEOPLE WHO WORK WITHIN THEM. I work in education and the number of teacher layoffs that have occurred DUE TO BUDGET SHORTFALLS is staggering. When schools systems can't afford to pay their teachers, they also cannot afford to pay for any programs that benefit their teachers - programs like professional development in math, science, technology, and language arts. They can't afford to give teachers the materials they need to be effective in the classroom. Teachers, who plead to their schools for extra funding, are lucky if they get support from their local PTA. And what does that mean? That means that parents who are already contributing toward the school system via property taxes have to *further* dip into their ever-shrinking pockets to help teachers buy classroom materials.

Here's an informative article (from the crazy librul NY Times - gasp!) about the recent figures reported from the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office. I think the article does a good job at pointing out how the the numbers can be interpreted based on an "cleverly selective reading of the facts." People are not interested in research; they're interested in sound bites. In particular, they're only interested in sound bites that confirm their opinion- whether or not those soundbites are truthful. Economics and taxes are complicated topics. Why take the time to learn more and understand them? BO-RING! I'd rather just voice my knowledge-less opinion.

Sophia Nelson - a black woman aligned with the Tea Party - had a chance to add to the conversation on Talk Of The Nation on Monday. I'm really looking for someone from that group to *tell us something substantive* about what they believe, and why they think we're being taxed too much. [Taxed too much under Obama, that is. I don't recall the Tea Party forming when W. decided to go to war with Iraq on the taxpayers' dime.] Here's a quote from the transcript:

NEAL CONAN: You just talked about burdensome taxes. And you mention that in your piece, as well. And slightly off the subject of your op-ed, but there was just a analysis by the Bureau of Economic Analysis that said taxes, federal, state, local, are at historic lows, lowest level since 1950.

SOPHIA NELSON: Hmm. That's interesting. When I look in my pay check, I don't see that. Maybe it's because I'm single and, you know, you don't get the deductions, single, head of household - I mean, household, I'm sorry - and children and all those things. But I don't know anybody I know, as I talked about in the piece, who thinks they're not taxed too much. And I'm not just talking about, like...

NEAL CONAN: Or you could still believe they're too high, but they are, in fact, historically low.

SOPHIA NELSON: Well, that depends on who you have saying that. I bet if I go to CATO or Heritage or one of those sites, they're going to tell me they're historically high. How much you bet?

NEAL CONAN: Well, I bet if John McCain were president, you'd be trumpeting lower taxes.

BOOM.

For the record: The Bureau of Economic Analysis (the one Neal mentioned) is non-partisan. The CATO Institute (that Sophia mentioned) is a Libertarian think-tank. And the Heritage Foundation (which she also mentioned), according to their website, focuses on Conservative Policy Research and Analysis. I'll let you draw your own conclusion about that.

If anyone out there feels differently than I do, please feel free to write in and tell me why I'm wrong. I'm sure there's a private sector/free market answer to all these problems, right? What IS Blackwater up to these days, anyway? Well, aside from being indicted on federal weapons charges? Damn that big gubmint!!!!

Shout a Hip Hooo-Ray!

The Twins are 2 games out of first, going into a 3 game series with the division leaders - the Tigers. These mark the final 3 games before the All-Star break (where Mauer and Morneau will no doubt kick some ass, as if anyone even cares about the All-Star game anymore). Get out your brooms, Twins fans! Let's take the lead! And then? Let's put the hurtin' on the ChiSox next weekend. Yar!!

This isn't actually me, but it sure coulda been.

Filmjitsu!

Lucky gal that I am, I have some really hilarious friends. Thankfully, one of the most hilarious of the bunch (which puts him high in the running for most hilarious world-wide) has started a downright awesome film podcast: FILMJITSU.

The basic premise: the two Filmjitsu hosts take turns picking atrocious movies for the other to watch and review. Sounds like a typical Friday night around these parts! Who doesn't love a shit-tastic movie? The Filmjitsu guys don't pull any punches, and possess extensive film knowledge, to boot. All-around fun podcast, and I'm not just saying that because Merrigunz happens to RULE.

If you have the means, I highly recommend listening to Filmjitsu. It is so choice. And, come on, it's free, so you have the means, which means you have no excuses!!

Lips of Faith

In case you were wondering, this beer totally rules.

BEER SUPPLY!

Who's the Man?

You know, I really REALLY love the album I'm The Man by Joe Jackson. Super-catchy songs, great lyrics, fun, and truly some of my favorite bass playing (and bass tone). Would you expect anything different from a bass player who wears a MESH TANK TOP? I thought not. What a total stud. Graham Maby, you're the man.

I Know You Are, But What Am I?!

I must say, I'm completely fascinated by the phenomenon of Pee-Wee Herman. Specifically, at this moment, I'm fascinated by the change in tone between 1980's The Jerk and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure in 1985. Merely five years separates these films - films that really have quite a bit in common - but they feel like they come from different planets.

Was Slate right when it said Steve Martin's primary trademark is nostalgia? I think so, and, at least for me, this comparison illustrates that more than ever. Navin Johnson's roots are nothing if not old-timey. He's captivated by Lawrence Welk, plays the ukelele, and - most of all - doesn't seem to know how to operate in the modern world.

Fast forward to Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. To these eyes, many aspects of the movie/characterizations seem rooted in early 20th century opulence and 1950s suburbia but utterly transform in Tim Burton's lens. The nostalgic elements here (the bicycle, the props, the joke shop) are so specific to Pee-Wee and his world that they lose their sense of time/place.

It's so interesting to think of Pee-Wee *truly* as a character invented and portrayed by a man, and not as an actual person. Throughout the '80s, we only ever saw Paul Reubens in costume. Pee-Wee did interviews. Paul was the puppeteer. And think of all the comedic and artistic minds that helped shape Pee-Wee as we know him: Phil Hartman, Danny Elfman, Tim Burton. All have their own warped take on the world - sincerity mixed with menace; sexuality mixed with celibacy; squeaky-clean mixed with seedy.

Will there ever be another "real life" character like Pee-Wee? I'm not talking about lame-ass Joaquin Phoenix grow-a-beard-and-now-I'm-crazy stunts, but people who go to extreme lengths to embody their characters at all times. What incredible dedication!

Right now the two "people" about whom I'd most like to read biographies are Leonardo DaVinci and Pee-Wee Herman. I don't even think that's as incongruous as it seems.

TEXTING SUCKS

Anybody out there text while they're driving? Even if you're "just" at a stop light? FUCK YOU. You should lose your goddamn license. Nothing incenses me more than texting drivers. Absolutely nothing you have to say IN A TEXT MESSAGE could be that important for you to risk killing or injuring someone. What is wrong with you?? Honestly, I would love to know. What makes you think you're different/special? What makes your messages that important? What makes you think the law doesn't apply to you? Since "everybody" does it, does that make it OK for you to do it?

Distracted driving is NOT A JOKE. People fucking die at the hands - at the fucking THUMBS - of narcissistic MORONS who can't put their personal life on hold for 5 minutes while they get from A to B. HOW HAS CIVILIZATION PROGRESSED FOR MILLENIA WITHOUT TEXTING?! OMG WTF?!??!

North Carolinians who text while driving? IT IS A CRIME. A "primary," in fact, which means that a patrol car can stop you without any other traffic violation. Hopefully you won't kill someone before you stop texting in your car. Wishful thinking.

Which Is Worse?

Having recently watched both "movies," I can definitively state that CON AIR is way worse than POINT BREAK. Is that even a question?

versus

JUDGE FOR YOURSELF!!

YOU PUKEY THINGS!

It no longer appears that we're inching toward an inevitable/impending Maximum Overdrive situation. Nah, folks. It's so much better than that. We are our very own 2nd Wave Heaven's Gaters, riding on - nay, PILOTING - the Rhea-M as it charts a path for our ultimate destruction.

In twenty (ten? five? one?) years, when you see me on a highway median with this warning sandwich-boarded to my torso, be sure to text EMILIO to 56514. That's all I ask.

WE! MADE! YOU!!!!!

Summer Reading!

Much to my book-loving delight, my local library has just reopened after some amazing renovations. Slimer from Ghostbusters would have a hard time hiding in the stacks anymore, not to mention the card catalog has gone the way of the ... card catalog. To kick off a summer of easy-readin', I'm starting with these two great books:

The first is by my very good friend - nay, disgraced evil twin - Andy Schanie. Like movies? Like scandals? Like crazy stories about crazy movie stars? You will love Movie Confidential!


We all know movie stars are crazy. Let Andy tell you just HOW crazy! Seriously, help my bro out and buy his book from Amazon. Word has it that he's got a book tour in the works for August 2010. Stay tuned!


Next up we have a title that the incomparable Vee turned me on to: We Never Learn - The Story of the Gunk Punk Undergut, 1988-2001. Written by New Bomb Turks frontman Eric Davidson, "tour de farce" is really not a strong enough term for this book (and she says that lovingly).


For people who read Please Kill Me and Our Band Could Be Your Life only to wonder "What happened next? What about all the bands they didn't mention?" - We Never Learn is for you. In the words of Michael Hayes, "[They] kept knocking on the door until finally somebody had to answer it right! FINE-LAAAAAY!"

We Never Learn celebrates the underground bands that defied pigeonholing; bands that were more about partying than politics or posturing; bands that went for it, but never really made it. Unless your idea of "making it" entails copious amounts of alcohol, illicit drugs and fistfights, in which case they ALL made it.

There are approximately ZERO "mainstream" bands today that I could give two shits about. We Never Learn summarizes why. To paraphrase one of my favorite lines so far from the book, "Irony" gave everyone something to hide behind because what too many bands (people) feared was taking a chance and looking like a dumbass. The bands profiled in this book took those chances. Unapologetically. I'll always gravitate toward their music over their more successful "alternative" peers. Give me the HONEST dumbass over the ironic poseur any day.

Great Day for Animals in NC!

It's an unfortunate truth that sometimes really bad things have to happen before people stand up, take notice, and work for change. Yesterday, North Carolina legislators unanimously passed "Susie's Law," which will enforce harsher penalties on animal abusers - including jail time. The law's namesake, a dog who was savagely beaten, SET ON FIRE and left for dead, was on hand in the state Capitol to remind the legislators of the importance of their vote. Check this gal out!


WUNC aired a lovely piece on Susie's Law which you can listen to here. As noted, Susie's Law does not apply to hunting and farming. I'd like to hope that, regardless of where you stand on those issues, we can all agree that cruelly beating animals and setting them on fire is NEVER OK. Susie will continue to inspire people with her work as a burn unit therapy dog. Hooray for Susie!

End of an Ear-a

No doubt about it. The Gary Gaetti Cult Nerve Center is STILL my favorite website of ALL TIME. I can think of no other place on the interwebs that so deftly intermingles beer drinking, gun shooting, game hunting, heavy metal listening, movie watching, and - above all - Gaetti worshiping. The first time I read it, going on 10 years ago, I had to hide under the desk of my shitty temp job to stifle my uncontrollable laughter. Now, it definitely still makes me laugh, but it also makes me nostalgic for home, 1987, 1991, non-ironic mustaches, and Grain Belt Premium. Simpler times, folks. Simpler times.

My flapless helmet is off to the Chairmen and the Cult Members for keeping the dream alive (i.e. continuing to pay for the domain name). I'll happily contribute.

Long live the G-Man!
Long live the Twins!
Long live the Cult!



Sincerely,
Mara
Barnesville High School Softball
1992-95
#8, obviously

BEER SUPPLY

Our as-yet fictitious band has a not-so fictitious Tumblr site. Some day it will feature posters from our gigs. SOME day. Not any day soon. For now you'll have to entertain yourself with the hilarious pictures and captions. I smell a coffee table book!

Long Way Back From Hell

Hello, lovely reader (singular)!

Sorry for the bloggus interruptus. New shit has been coming to light recently and it's time to get this train back on the track.

First things first. JANZIG is about to destroy your ever-loving mind. That's right. All female Danzig/Misfits tribute. It's absolutely a dream come true.

Music and Related Shenanigans

The Squares rocked out in February to celebrate Mardi Gras in Durham.

We also made this painting, now proudly hanging in our bathroom.

"Big Easy Is Watching You" - MT/V, 2010

Beverly Hills COBRA?

Anyone else familiar with this story? Allegedly Sylvester Stallone was set to write and star in Beverly Hills Cop. His screenplay ended up being so Over The Top that the studio didn't have the Tango & Cash to make it happen. Result? It became COBRA. We are planning a double-feature soon and will keep a copious log of the parallelisms. Sorry to leave you on such a Cliffhanger!

Happy New Year From RnRMartian!

To all the old acquaintances we forgot (and thus will never bring to mind), don't look for an apology here. We probably "forgot" you because you were a mammoth douchenozzle. HAPPY NEW YEAR!