What I've Learned From Daytime TV

Up until a few weeks ago, my only access to "current" TV was what I could get via PlayOn (i.e. The Colbert Report) and other computer-via-PS3 means. Then I joined a gym. Now, Monday through Thursday, I get a 45 minute dose of afternoon network TV's finest. Fortunately (I think), my gym time corresponds with Ellen's time slot. Some observations:

1) Ellen often rocks the shirt & tie combo, sometimes with the addition of a vest. A VEST! I'm talking both the suit-type vest and the sweater vest. Who else can do that and still look that good? I'm definitely down with sweater vests as a general rule, but don't often see someone rocking the vest-vest all that successfully. Obviously she's not wearing some acetate-backed monstrosity from JC Penney's (like some people in some middle school photos I could mention). Anyway, thanks Ellen for letting me comment on VESTS, of all things.

2) People in her audience LOVE to shriek. The fucking LOVE it! That's all they do!

3) She always has terrible musical guests on the show (American Idol cast-offs and the like). As far as "bands" go, she seems to favor groups with a hipstery lead singer who holds the mic with both hands and sings with his eyes closed.

Every. Fucking. Day.

4) Daytime TV commercials are as silly as they ever were. I'm looking at you, John Orcutt, bankruptcy attorney! You website is BILLSBILLS.com!! I'd love to shake your hand if it weren't so full of other people's money!